In the Wild Blue Yonder

Most days (the 50-60% of the year that my husband might be home) being a military spouse feels to be far from extraordinary. Well, as long as I forget that it’s why I’m raising my toddler in England right now. And as long as I don’t make the trip to the commissary, where the blast of fighter jet engines is a constant reminder of my ties to the Air Force.

Some days he goes in early or stays late. Some days he works weird hours. As the daughter of a CPA and a former third-shift worker, it seems to me that’s just life.

I just go about my business like a normal person. We live off-base and I have very few reasons to ever make the 40 minute trip to it (the primary reason being cheap food). After nearly 8 years of living with him, I’ve finally stopped thinking of Top Gun when he comes home in his flight suit. I’m sure I would have imagined some sexy corporate office movie if he came home in a suit suit every day. Or Grey’s Anatomy if he came home in scrubs. So on, so on.

But there are two very military instances that always remind me that we don’t lead a normal life.

One is when he comes home with that look on his face. It’s the “I know we thought I’d be home for a while, but…” face. It’s the “this isn’t just a relay” face. The “you know I don’t like going there as much as you don’t like me being gone, but it’s what I have to do” face.

I know that face well. I’m running out of fingers to count the times I’ve seen it.

The other is that rare occasion when he needs me to verify that his wings and medals and name tag and rank are all situated correctly on his service dress. I stand back and study all of the pieces to see if they’re parallel with the right planes, a half-inch from the proper point.

Each time there seems to be more rows of ribbons, more oak leaf clusters, something new and blingy. The new star over his wings I find quite impressive.

They all tell a story – not just of his career, but of our journey through it as a family. The hours. The tours. The conflicts. I’ve been there through it all, waiting on the other end. Just as my friends have been through the same with their spouses and families. Our normal.

What strikes me most about this occasion is that it’s usually for something special. Like a wedding, where we’ll be displaying that this is our life to a blissfully clueless audience. Or for a new headshot for hanging on the wall over the “CGO of the Year” placard in the squadron.

This is the moment when I fill with pride and love for the hardworking, intelligent, level-headed man I married. When I feel that all of our sacrifices – and those of hundreds of thousands of other military families – must seem important (and understood) to someone. When it’s very clear that the military is our life.

Baby’s Big Week & A Day in London

From time to time I wonder if I should ditch Facebook forever and live blissfully unaware of the hard things the people I love have to deal with. But I care about them too much. And how would I ever receive invitations to social engagements without Facebook?

Second-degree drama aside, we had a fantastic week over here. Baby yoga was a hit, my creative writing class is a ton of fun, we went to dinner in Cambridge with our friends (with the kid!), and the hubs extended his three-day holiday weekend into four by cashing in his Excellent PT Score Bonus Day. We spent some quality family time over the long weekend, and chose to make it at least a little exciting by going to London’s aquarium.

There were a few things we heard from our friends here that weren’t in the welcome book: don’t live in Thetford, “pants” is to boys underwear as “knickers”is to ladies underwear, and driving to London is a really dumb idea.

We drove to London.

A New Page

So, here we are. A little over a week into The Best Year Yet. And… well, school is back in session, so everything is opening back up and we can get on with it.

Today was our first day of toddler yoga. Yes, toddler yoga. I usually say it with air quotes, because I know better than to think I can get my child to do something like Follow Directions or a warrior pose.

It was actually a ton of fun and probably a lot like a baby music class. Except at the end of yoga class, mom gets to lay down and chilllll out for a few minutes while the leader dumps a bag of books on the floor and tries to corral the kiddos. I did get a lovely open mouth kiss on the cheek from some rando baby at one point, but it made me feel pretty.

Walden loved it and it made us both happy all day, so I’m glad we’re doing it. Seeing him interact with other kids is such a joyful thing and encourages me to give him more opportunities to unwittingly demonstrate his superior cuteness.

And now about me.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that if this year is going to be the best yet, I need to do something for myself. On a whim, I scanned the local community college’s website and decided to take a creative writing course. I’m excited and a little nervous. Advertising & PR Writing is the only writing course I’ve ever taken. I don’t have an idea for a book. My liver won’t support a career as a journalist. I’ve just always liked writing.

Just minutes after enrolling I imagined if the show Community was inspired by a class like the one I’m about. (It kind of was.)

Who knows what will become of it? I’ve got the blank new A4 notebook, full of nothing but paper and possibility, ready for the first day of class this week.

Whatever comes of it, it just feels good to have some new things in motion. What are some new things you’re going to try this year?

Kicking Off the Blankets

Hello, 2012!

You know that sluggish feeling you have after a loooooong nap? Where you just can’t wake up? At least, that’s how I remember it. It’s how I’ve been feeling lately… without the benefit of a nap.

Winter has never been my best season. I used to blame the weather, but now I also blame the really long nights. Also, I think I burned up my energy reserves dealing with the move and everything that came before December.

I’m still not recharged.

I started a recap of the past year for this blog, but re-reading all of the drama of the year (including the drama that I’ve kept from this site) was emotionally draining. Rather than publishing the post, which was reading like a recipe for a pity party, I’ve decided instead to focus on how GREAT 2012 is going to be.

While I’ve barely left my house since it began, I just know it’s going to be way better than last year. Like, the Best Year Yet! (Once I find the energy for it.)

We’re planning some great trips, I’m committing to learning my camera and improving my photography, my slow cooker is going to become my new best friend, and the little one is going to get out to all kinds of fun British play groups.

Family, food and fun! What do you have in store for 2012?

Sometimes Free Toys Don’t Cut It

It’s that time of year! Toys, toys everywhere. Also, lousy lousy weather that has me doing things like revisiting books on child rearing and how to entertain a toddler.

My nature is to want to not want my kid to have garish plastic toys. And the books and websites I read all swear that you don’t need toys when you have a bounty of FREE toys in your very own kitchen.

The reality is this: Give my kid a cereal box or paper towel tube and it’s dissolving in his mouth in 5 seconds. Give him a saucepan lid and he’s going to have a crescent-shaped bruise on his forehead. A wooden spoon? Just might get jammed down his throat when he trips chasing the dog. So there comes a point when I’m perfectly willing to fork out some cash for a chance to prepare a meal or run an errand in peace.

Here are some of our favorite toys that we (or someone we care about) actually paid money for. Perhaps useful information this holiday season?

Travelable Toys

Bits of cardboard lodged in the roof of your child’s mouth are extra-hard to reach from the front seat. We love our Lamaze toys:

• Captain Calamari The kiddo has gnawed off all of his tentacles, and I find his eye patch especially endearing.
• Freddie the Firefly While far from the cutest of the Lamaze toys, this guy has a nice variety of “advanced” motor skill features for the slightly older baby.

And sometimes it’s nice to have something that packs easily into a suitcase.

• Fisher-Price Friendly Firsts Turtle Sorter Lightweight, easy to pack, and the shapes come in different textures and colors, most of which make some kind of noise. Multifunctional!

Bigger-boy Toys

Then there’s the garish plastic stuff that it turns out I can’t live without, because I’m not into extracting splinters from baby gums.

• V-Tech Pull ‘n Learn Car Carrier Animals! Little cars! Big truck! Buttons! Music! Numbers! It just keeps on keepin’ on.
• LeapFrog Learn ‘n Groove Music Table Now that he thinks his britches are too big for the jumperoo, this is the next best thing. Lots of activities, educational stuff and just plain fun music, the kiddo has dug this for months. I may change my mind when he starts climbing it regularly, but for now, it’s magic.

I do have an eco-friendly option, though.

• Plan Toys Dancing Alligator Seeing a little boy toddle across a room with a cute alligator in tow is JUST the most precious thing. Even better that it’s made out of rubberwood.

Teethers

Maybe I could just give him a leather belt to gnaw on. But to address the issue of every. single. thing. being devoured, I have tried out the world’s share of teethers. And Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature Easy Reach Teethers are the best. The stage 2 and stage 3 teethers are essential to survival.

And the Rest

When I’m desperate, it helps to have a totally baby-proofed area that I know can be explored without restraint, with a few safe non-toy items in baby’s reach. So what if my shoe ends up in the recycling bin as long as the dishes get put away?

In Fairness to New Moms

You don’t have to break the bank. Just don’t poo-poo second hand plastic stuff. It’s easy to clean and you’ll get a thumbs up from Mother Earth.

Random Task, show them what you do

If you’ve watched the Austin Powers movies as much as I have, you’re familiar with the character “Random Task” and his hidden talent of lethal shoe-throwing. (Side note: Bond films are much more entertaining when you can reference the jokes they influenced in the Austin Powers series. In this case, the hat-throwing Oddjob in Goldfinger.)

It seems my child sees serious advantages in shoe throwing. These advantages include an ability to access socks for pulling off/toe airing (windchill-be-damned); opportunities for interaction with random strangers and travel delays.

Velcro shoes are just too easy. Double-knotted laces? With enough time. Elastic laces? Puh-lease. Boots? Pshaw. Stroller foot muff to get in the way? As if. Shoes with buckles? THEY DON’T MAKE THOSE FOR BOYS.

This past week he and the dog worked out some kind of agreement so that, on the return route of our nice but chilly walk, I would be mid shoe replacement when another dog would approach. At this point my dog would freak out, forcing me to move along quickly. THEN the hungry crabby baby would secretly toss out the hastily replaced shoe, for me to notice 30 yards later and have to turn back toward said approaching dog with my said freaking out dog.

There are hedges on both sides. My dog will have to encounter the other dog, which is a thing I’ve learned over the past 5 years should just be avoided altogether, ESPECIALLY when I also have the kid. And extra-especially if it’s a large breed male puppy or a schnauzer or a pug.

Thanks, boys.

Thankfully said dog was none of the above we all made it without any damage. But… Who throws a shoe? Honestly.

[So the photo's a few months old. Cute though, right?]

1980s Kids’ Comic Book Ads

I’m just going to put this out there. There is, in fact, something fun about moving and going through boxes and piles and mountains of old stuff. Looking through old yearbooks, discovering forgotten ticket stubs and laughing at retro odds and ends that we were compelled to set aside for the future… it’s all feel-good stuff.

Check out these ads from a 1987 Muppet Babies comic book we found in our stash in the attic. Believe it or not, I haven’t been an avid reader of such things in, oh, 20 or so years.

Do ads like these still exist?

Mail-in fan clubs? Anyone?

I can’t imagine you would ever find something like the Ogilvy-esque “Body Builder” ad in a modern publication.

Gotta save this one for the kiddo to prove there was a time before mobile gaming.

Is it OK to say the marshmallows in cereal are yummy?

And how misleading is it to say “You could be the next Joe?”

Can you imagine the parent backlash if stuff like this ran today? Oh, how times change…

Also, Re: SAHSSM

As a SAHSSM, I am especially fond of spending time as a family. A WHOLE family. Dad and kid and me. We can even throw in a grandpa. Good stuff.

My husband took off last week (well, except for one day) to do saint-worthy things such as transporting my dad to and from Heathrow; taking my dad out for pints; taking my dad on tours of a local distillery and brewery; running all over town to find a fresh turkey; picking up propane for the grill… in addition to squeezing in some bike rides. We walked the dog, toured the Tower of London, devoured two Thanksgiving meals, discovered Bury’s Christmas Fayre.

Who knew vacation could be so much work? So we thought we could look forward to a couple of weeks of getting back to “normal.”

Except it sounds like there are many early mornings and late nights coming up, where he’s not going to see much (if any) of the kiddo (or me) until the weekend. So… he’s home, but I’m still doing the solo mom thing.

I guess what I’m coming to realize is that normal for us probably won’t mean that he leaves for work when we’re awake and gets home before dark in time to help put the baby to bed. That all we have is maybe the weekends to do the whole family thing. At least until the next TDY.

This is all a long way of making excuses for not having any photos to post this month. My last photo safari came to a screeching halt when I saw through my viewfinder that there was a Parkers Piece-soaked cigarette butt in my child’s mouth. And my friend and I left the baby’s one year photo shoot muddy, sweating and out of breath. He requires my full attention. So I’m hoping to take advantage of our family weekends to learn my camera better and capture these good days.

We Made It!

My dad arrived safely from the States Friday.

We celebrated my husband’s birthday Saturday, with a gorgeous bicycle ride in the English countryside in some magical autumn afternoon sun and an amazing (baby-free) dinner at Maison Bleue.

Oh, and my little man turned ONE Sunday!

It’s still sinking in that the first year of my kid’s life has already passed. That he’s not really a baby any more. That very soon he’ll be riding that balance bike we gave him.

It’s also sinking in that I get to do things like: taking my dad to London, with his grandson, on the tube – which I never imagined I would ever do.

We’ve made it this far, and there’s so much more to come. It’s awesome.

Things I Discovered in my First (Almost) Year as a Mom

My feet. More of a rediscovery.

Let’s call them “laugh lines.”

Age-defying bust lift technology.

Coupons.

Babies will put anything in their mouths.

Spiders are even more disgusting when discovered in your baby’s mouth.

Ducks poop a lot. Everywhere.

Baby laughs fix everything.