Random Task, show them what you do

If you’ve watched the Austin Powers movies as much as I have, you’re familiar with the character “Random Task” and his hidden talent of lethal shoe-throwing. (Side note: Bond films are much more entertaining when you can reference the jokes they influenced in the Austin Powers series. In this case, the hat-throwing Oddjob in Goldfinger.)

It seems my child sees serious advantages in shoe throwing. These advantages include an ability to access socks for pulling off/toe airing (windchill-be-damned); opportunities for interaction with random strangers and travel delays.

Velcro shoes are just too easy. Double-knotted laces? With enough time. Elastic laces? Puh-lease. Boots? Pshaw. Stroller foot muff to get in the way? As if. Shoes with buckles? THEY DON’T MAKE THOSE FOR BOYS.

This past week he and the dog worked out some kind of agreement so that, on the return route of our nice but chilly walk, I would be mid shoe replacement when another dog would approach. At this point my dog would freak out, forcing me to move along quickly. THEN the hungry crabby baby would secretly toss out the hastily replaced shoe, for me to notice 30 yards later and have to turn back toward said approaching dog with my said freaking out dog.

There are hedges on both sides. My dog will have to encounter the other dog, which is a thing I’ve learned over the past 5 years should just be avoided altogether, ESPECIALLY when I also have the kid. And extra-especially if it’s a large breed male puppy or a schnauzer or a pug.

Thanks, boys.

Thankfully said dog was none of the above we all made it without any damage. But… Who throws a shoe? Honestly.

[So the photo’s a few months old. Cute though, right?]